Mysterion: Mask of The Mysterious
by Walter Bryan Cranston White
Summary: Mysterion is framed after somebody hospitalised Professor Chaos. But Mysterion has personal issues because his ex girlfriend, Kelly has returned


Professor Chaos and his minions of Chaos were at the Airport Hilton discussing plans

Professor Chaos: My fellow minions. For too long we have watched as South Park crumbled under our feet. School Shootings, Gender Wars, The President running amok. I think it's about time we do something about it

A door opened

Maitre d': Got everything you need here, sir? Okay on beverages, buffet items?

Professor Chaos: Yes we do have everything

Maitre d': Great. Hey, I just want to say that the Airport Hilton really appreciates your continued business

Professor Chaos: Thank you. Wait what?

Maitre d': Aren't you the little boy who started a retaliation against the girls for being blamed for their problems?

Professor Chaos: No I am not the boy who has a problem with Brie Larson

Maitre d': Oh good. He was pretty psychotic and I don't think he had anything against Brie Larson

Professor Chaos: Um ok. And again yes we have everything

Maitre d': Ok great. Thanks for choosing the Airport Hilton

The maitre d' left

Professor Chaos: As I was saying, the real cause to all of South Park's problems is our president. Why do these school shootings happen? Because the president doesn't do anything about it, that's why! I was inspired by an episode of Brooklyn Nine Nine, where some crook was vandalising people's cars by spray painting dicks on people's cars. So we're gonna spray paint dicks on the Presidents limo, chopper, plane and finally The White House. Any questions?

A Chaos Minion raises his hand

Professor Chaos: Yes

Chaos Minion: When are we gonna do it?

Professor Chaos: Next Saturday

Chaos Minion: You sure you don't wanna do it now?

Professor Chaos: I'm sure

Chaos Minions: Maybe we should do it now so it is easier. I mean now is the time for us to act now! The school shootings, there's probably one happening now and maybe a Gender war, that could be happening right now

Professor Chaos: Do not question my authority. And also, you've been saying "now" quite a lot. Is "now" the only word you speak?

Suddenly somebody burst through the window

It was Mysterion

Professor Chaos: Mysterion!

Mysterion: Sorry Stan I didn't hear the signal

The Chaos Minion removed his hat and mask to reveal Stan in disguise

Stan: Apology accepted

Professor Chaos: Freedom Pals! Get them

Professor Chaos than tried to retreat

Mysterion: Stan, hold the goons off. I'll handle Chaos

Stan started to kick the Chaos Minions' asses

Mysterion continued to chase Professor Chaos

But was stopped by a massive Chaos goon

Mysterion: Of course there's a large one

Professor Chaos: Let's see how you like this one Mysterion

Professor Chaos ran off

Mysterion: Alright big dick. Let's see how you like me

The goon than punched Mysterion across the room

Mysterion: Ouch!

Professor Chaos made it to the 3rd floor

Professor Chaos: Wait, What am I doing on the 3rd floor? I should've thought of this escape plan more

Suddenly there was a loud clang

Professor Chaos: Mysterion?

Meanwhile

Stan was dealing with all the Chaos minions, kicking their asses

Stan gave one of them a roundhouse kick and kicked one of them in the balls

Stan made chase to a lone Chaos Minion

He chased him outside

Stan managed to stop him by throwing a power drill right at his head

Stan: Bullseye. Hope I didn't kill him

Chaos Minion: Who throws a power drill? Honestly

Stan: Oh. Thank God

Meanwhile

Professor Chaos: Hello. Is anyone there?

Voice: Your angel of death

In front of Chaos stood a mysterious cloaked figure

Professor Chaos: Mysterion?

Voice: Call me that if you wish, but I think it's taken

Professor Chaos: Huh?

Suddenly the figure grabbed Chaos

Professor Chaos: Let go of me

The figure than threw Professor Chaos out of the window

Professor Chaos than crash landed on the ground with a hard thud

Stan: What the?!

Meanwhile

Mysterion defeated the goon

Mysterion than heard a scream

Mysterion: What the?

Mysterion than ran up to the third floor to find a broken window

Mysterion went to inspect the damage

Mysterion saw Professor Chaos lying on the bottom floor twitching

Stan: Kenny?! What the fuck?!

Mysterion: What do you mean Stan?!

Stan: Butters told me you threw him out of the window, you bastard!

Mysterion stood in confusion and shock

Stan: Stay still Kenny. I'm coming up

Mysterion than threw fire crackers and disappeared

Stan: Shit! Don't worry Butters. I'll get you to the hospital

The next day

South Park Elementary

Nelly was crying by her locker

Nelly: I can't believe that bastard would do something like that to my Butters

Annie: There, there Nelly. He's lucky to still be alive

Stan: Nelly. I'm gonna get that bastard trust me

Stan ran up to Kenny

Stan: Kenny! Why the fuck did you throw Butters out of the window?!

Kenny than ran off

Stan: Hey don't run off from me!

Craig: Class has started you moron

Stan: Oh!

4th Grade class

Stan kept dirty eyeing Kenny

Mrs Nelson: Students. I know we're still worried about fellow student Butters Stotch, but let us pray that the one who caused Butters to be hospitalised will be locked up

Stan: Yeah...I wonder...who it could be?

Stan kept dirty eyeing Kenny

Kenny: Why the fuck are you staring at me like that?

Mrs Nelson: But on the brighter side we have a new student

Heidi: I wonder if her name is Marjorine?

Heidi than started to dirty eye Cartman

Cartman: Why da fuck are you staring at me like that?

Mrs Nelson: Students, give a nice welcome to Kelly

Kenny: Kelly?

A girl entered the class and she had blonde hair and was wearing a blue shirt

Kelly: Hey everyone. Some of you don't remember me, but I was part of the Getting Gay With Kids choir with some of you students

Cartman than nudged Kenny

Cartman: Hey Kinny. Kinny. It's your ex girlfriend

Kenny: I know

Mrs Nelson: Kelly would you like to take Butters' seat

Kelly than took a seat next to Kenny

Kelly: Oh hey Lenny

Kenny than frowned

Recess

Kenny was frowning by a tree

Whilst Stan and Wendy watched from afar

Wendy was stroking Stan's shoulder

Wendy: You seem on edge Stan, is something wrong?

Stan: I think Kenny was the one who put Butters in hospital

Wendy: What makes you think he did?

Stan: I mean after Butters hit the ground, I saw Kenny looking down and instead of coming down and explaining, he just threw his firecrackers and ran off

Wendy: You sure he wasn't scared?

Stan: No it was Kenny! He did it!

Wendy: Stan. You can't prove it was Kenny, maybe Butters just slipped over a banana peel or something

Stan: But he was pain and he screamed it was Mysterion who did it. I mean look at Kenny, he's probably wondering if he's gonna hurt somebody

But Kenny was just sulking by a tree and he started to have a flashback

The boys were just walking home

Kyle: Stan stop being miserable. I'm pretty sure she knew you didn't mean it

(A/N: This flashback takes place in between season 9 and 10)

Stan: Yeah. I still love her Kyle, I'm just scared that she still doesn't like me

Cartman: Shut up moaning about her Stan. Kinny's talks about his girlfriend is enough, I don't need another one

Kenny: I'll catch you guys later. I'm gonna call Kelly

Kenny ran home and picked up his phone and dialled for Kelly

Kenny: Hey Kelly

Kelly: Oh hey Benny

Kenny: It's Kenny. And what's up?

Kelly: Kenny. I don't know, if I can handle long distance relationship anymore

Kenny: Kelly, we've been together for 3 months. It's working trust me

Kelly: But I don't see you, I just hear you. I wish I could see you

Kenny: Look Kelly. How about you come to South Park someday and we'll be able to see each other?

Kelly: I don't know. It's probably gonna be expensive

Kenny: Kelly, couldn't you just try and save up for a coach trip to come here to South Park

Kelly: That doesn't sound like a bad idea actually Lenny

Kenny: Knew that would work

Kelly: You're my hero Benny

Kenny: I know

Half an hour later

They stopped talking

Kenny just sat in his room and started to draw some designs for a superhero costume

The first design looked like a gay Robin Hood crossed with Zorro

So Kenny just scrunched it up and threw it away

Kenny: Too gay

Carol: You drunk piece of shit!

Kenny peeked out of his room to see what his parents were arguing about

Carol: You lost our daughter?!

Stuart: I just fell asleep

Carol: Because you've been drinking

Stuart: And you get high

Carol: Fuck you

Carol and Stuart started to punch each other

Kenny: Karen! Karen!

Kenny than ran out of the house

Kenny: Karen! Karen!

Karen was in the middle of the road playing with her doll

Karen: Hi Kenny

Kenny noticed a truck coming up the road

Kenny: Shit! It's driving in the wrong side of the road, it's obviously a drunk driver

Kenny ran into the middle of the road and grabbed Karen taking her to safety

Karen: Oh my gosh! It almost killed me

Karen than started to cry

Kenny: It's ok

Kenny hugged Karen

Kenny: It's ok. It's ok. It's stopped I'm here. I'm always here for you. I would kill myself if you died, if I could

Karen: Oh big bro. You are so mysterion

Kenny: Mysterion?! Don't you mean mysterious?

Karen: Yeah. That word

Kenny continued to hug Karen until the flashback ended

Present Day

Kenny was still sulking by the tree

Tammy: Hey Ken

Kenny: Oh hey Tammy

Tammy: You just seemed down and I wanted to see if you were ok

Kenny: Oh it's nothing Tam

Tammy: You sure Ken?

Kenny: Oh I'm sure

Kelly than walked up

Kelly: Hey Lenny

Kenny: Oh shit!

Tammy: Ken, who is this?

Kelly: And you are?

Tammy: I'm Tammy. I'm Kenny's girlfriend. And did you just call him Benny?

Kelly: Oh! You have a girlfriend. I see you moved on

Kenny: Yeah

Kelly: Well it was nice seeing you Lenny

Kelly walked off

Tammy: So this is why you're sulking by a tree, you still have feelings for her don't you?

Kenny: What? No! I love you more

Tammy: You seem like you don't know who you love

Kenny: No I do. Please stop overreacting

Tammy: Sorry Ken. I guess I kind of did. As long as you two just be friends I'll be ok

Kenny: Ok

Tegridy Farms

Randy was in the living room getting high with Towelie

Randy: Whoah. Do you think one day we could make a Pineapple Express 2?

Towelie: What do you mean?

Randy: I mean, if Seth Rogen and James Franco can't do it, than we might as well do it. I'll be James Franco and you'll be Seth Rogen

Towelie: No I wanna be James Franco

Randy: Come on. I make the weed, so I should be James Franco

Towelie: I help too

Randy: No you just sit there and smoke it. Hey Stan, could you go into the barn and grab my phone for me?

Stan: Get it yourself

Randy: Stan, do as your told

Stan went into the barn to grab Randy's phone

Stan: If he wasn't so high all the time, than I wouldn't be doing it

Voice: Stanley Marsh

Stan: Mysterion? I knew it was you

Voice: I am your angel of death

Stan: Alright Kenny quit it. Just show yourself

Voice: How about I show you something else?

Stan: What?

Voice: Very well, there's a man made bomb behind you and it's gonna blow in 9 seconds

Stan turned around to see a bomb

Stan ran as fast as he could

The bomb blows up and Stan got knocked down by the blast

Towelie: Hey Randy. Did you hear something blow up?

Randy: Maybe it was just Michael Bay filming another movie

Sharon: Randy! Look outside

Randy looked outside to see his barn destroyed and an unconscious Stan

Randy: I'm totally high right now, although the burning does smell a little bit realistic

Sharon ran outside

Sharon: Stan!

Sharon had tears in her eyes

Sharon: Oh my God! Who would do this to him?!

Randy: Stan!

Sharon held Stan's unconscious body

The next day

Hells Pass hospital

Stan was hospitalised because of his injuries

Wendy was at his side crying her eyes out

Wendy: Stan! Please wake up

Kyle: The doctors said he was gonna make a recovery, but they don't know when he'll wake up

Kenny entered the room

Kenny: Hey guys

Wendy: You son of a bitch!

Wendy ran up to Kenny and started to punch him

Kenny: Ow! I didn't do it

Wendy: Bullshit! He was right. You wanted to shut him up, so you decided to blow him up!

Wendy continued to punch Kenny

Kyle: Wendy! Wendy! Stop! Stop!

Kyle grabbed Wendy and started to hug her

Kyle: I'm worried about him too. He's gonna be ok! Please don't worry

Kyle gave Kenny a dirty look

Kyle: I think you should leave

Kenny left the room

As Kenny left the room, Wendy continued crying into Kyle's shoulders

Downtown South Park

Kenny was walking down the street

Kenny: Why do they think I did it?

As Kenny continued walking, he noticed Kelly in Tweek's coffee chatting with Bradley Biggle

Kelly: So you're actually an alien?

Bradley: Yup! I'm the superhero known as Mint-Berry Crunch

Kelly: Wow! You sounds pretty awesome. Do you have a weakness?

Bradley: I can't stand skimmed milk. It affects my powers

Kelly: Really? Something so obvious

Bradley: So what brings you to South Park?

Kelly: Oh my parents decided to move here and also say hello to a few friends

Kelly put her hand on Bradley's

Whilst Kenny just watched on

Than Kenny started to have another flashback

(A/N: This flashback takes place after The List)

Stevens residence

Kenny: Again I'd like to thank you for helping me design my costume Bebe

Bebe: My pleasure Kenny. It's so good you're deciding to do something about the crime in South Park

Kenny: Yeah. For the sake of my sister

Bebe: Aww! Gross!

Kenny: What?!

Bebe: Clyde's underwear. He always leaves them here every time! God! They're no good at all

Kenny: Hold on! They could be good for something

Bebe: What?

Kenny: I really needed something by the crotch area, so maybe these might be good for something

Bebe: Alright. Whatever makes totally not ridiculous

Kenny: Hey!

Bebe: What?! Just giving you my honest opinion

Kenny: Alright, work on the costume. I promised Kelly, I'd pick her up. We're going on a double date with Stan and Wendy

Bebe: They got back together?!

Kenny: Yeah! Two weeks. Didn't you hear?

Bebe: I just got out of prison, so no

Kenny: I know. I'll see ya later Bebe

Kenny left the Stevens and went to the bus station to fetch Kelly

Kelly got off the bus

Kelly: Benny!

Kenny ran up to Kelly and hugged her

Kelly: I've missed you so much Lenny

Kenny: It's Kenny and was the journey long?

Kelly: Yeah very long

Kenny: Oh! Well come on, we don't wanna miss our double date

Kelly: Alright

Tweek's coffee

Kenny and Kelly entered Tweek's coffee

Stan: Kenny over here

Kenny and Kelly sat across from Stan and Wendy

Kenny: Wendy this is my girlfriend Kelly

Kelly: Well it's nice to meet you Wendy

Wendy: You too

Kelly: So how did you two meet?

Wendy: Well we met each other in pre school and we became a couple in 3rd grade. But we barley saw each other, so I just broke up with him

Kelly: So why did you two get back together?

Stan: Well, it just happened you know? She said I changed somehow. We're trying to make it work again, we agreed that we should try and make time for each other

Kelly: Although I did hear you two have trouble kissing

Stan: Kenny!

Kenny: What? It's funny!

Kelly: I'm not gonna lie, it kind of is

Wendy: We've been trying to kiss, but he keeps throwing up

Stan: I think it's because I get a little nervous. It just happens you know?

Wendy: Why?

Stan: Because you're so beautiful

Wendy: Aww Stan

Wendy kisses Stan on the cheek, all of a sudden...

Stan BLEEEECH!

Stan threw up on the table

Kenny: Some way to start the double date

Kelly gave Kenny a friendly punch

Wendy: Well at least I'm not wearing it this time

They all laughed

Wendy: So how long have you two known each other?

Kenny: Oh we met when me, Stan, Kyle and Fat ass were forced to join the Getting Gay With Kids Choir. She wasn't so sure if she wanted to be in a relationship with me at first, but we decided to make it long distance. I personally think it's working, I mean we don't see each other but we do talk and I personally think it's working

Kelly than started crying

Kenny: Kelly? What's wrong?

Kelly: I'm sorry

Kelly than left Tweek's coffee

Kenny went after her

Stan and Wendy just sat their

Richard (Tweek's Dad): Oh goddamnit again? Seriously Stan, when will you learn to control that stomach of yours?

Outside

Kenny: Kelly. Is there something wrong?

Kelly turned to face her boyfriend, she had tears in her eyes

Kelly: I don't know if I can handle this long distance relationship anymore. I mean we live so far apart and we barley see each other, it becomes too much for me Benny. I mean I love you, but I don't know if I can handle this relationship anymore

Kenny: Kelly, I love you. I don't want us to break up

Kelly: But how are we going to handle this long distance relationship?

Kenny: Maybe, I could try and move into your town

Kelly: But, What about your family?

Kenny: Fuck my family! They won't even care when I'm gone, they'll just get high and drink booze. Kelly, I want us to be together. I don't want us to be so far apart any longer, I'll say goodbye to my friends and than we find a bus to your town and than we can live happily ever after

Kelly: Oh Lenny

Kenny: Come on. Let's finish this date

They enter Tweek's coffee again

Kenny: Oh. I see he's got it this time

They see Stan and Wendy kissing each other, full lip contact

Stan looked over Wendy and gave Kenny a thumbs up

Kenny: Should we try it?

Kelly: Huh?

Kenny: We haven't done it yet. So I think we should

Kelly held Kenny by the shoulders and pulled the hood from his parka down

They closed their eyes and pressed their lips against each other

Flashback ends

Kenny sighed and headed back home

As Kenny continued walking, he notices a newspaper

Kenny read the newspaper and got shocked to see what the headline said

The headline reads "Police have a warrant for Mysterion's arrest"

Kenny stood in shock and made a run for it

McCormick residence

Kenny was sleeping in his bed

As he slept a mysterious purple light entered the house and that light was shining from none other than Mint-Berry Crunch

Mint-Berry Crunch (Whispering): Shablagoo

Mint-Berry Crunch snuck around for a bit and entered Kenny's room

Mint-Berry Crunch (Whispering): I'm sorry Kenny, I have to take you in

Mint-Berry Crunch grabbed Kenny, but Kenny turned out to be a dummy

Mint-Berry Crunch: What the?

Voice: Bradley Biggle

Mint-Berry Crunch: Huh?

Voice: You're angel of death awaits

The figure approached Mint-Berry Crunch

Mint-Berry Crunch: What the hell?!

Voice: Here have a drink

The figure threw milk at Mint-Berry Crunch

Mint-Berry Crunch: What is milk gonna do to stop me Kenny?

Voice: But what kind of milk?

Mint-Berry Crunch than started to twitch and fell to the floor

Voice: I always thought skimmed milk would kill you. But really, it's just an allergic reaction, that weakens the powers. Soon The Freedom Pals will be extinct and I will be South Park's champion

The figure disappeared

Meanwhile

Mysterion was on top of a building letting the rain drops land on him

He noticed Kelly crossing the street and was suddenly approached by 6th graders

6th Grader 1: Hello stupid forthy

Kelly: Hello. Listen I really need to get home

6th Grader 2: Couldn't you just stay here a while?

Kelly: What do you want from me?

6th Grader 3: I don't know. We just wanna give you a warm welcome

Kelly was grabbed by the 6th Graders

Kelly: Help! Help! Help!

Mysterion landed in front of the 6th Graders

Mysterion: Let her go!

6th Grader 1: Him again?

6th Grader 3: Lets get out of here

6th Grader 2: No! We can beat him this time

The 6th Graders attacked Mysterion, but Mysterion defeated them by kicking the first one in the balls

The 2nd one by throwing him onto a curb giving him a head injury

And the final one by one punch to the face

Mysterion approached Kelly

Mysterion: Are you ok?

Kelly: Yeah?

Mysterion: It's not safe at night, a lot of vermin come out. You should go home, before the even bigger vermin show up

Kelly: Thank you. Who are you?

Mysterion: Just a friend

Kelly: What do you mean!

Mysterion: You'll find out one day. See ya

Kelly grabbed Mysterion's arm

Kelly: Wait. Doesn't my superhero deserve a gift?

Mysterion: What do you mean?

Kelly than kissed Mysterion

Mysterion was gonna ask her too stop, but he just kissed back

Kelly: Wait a minute. Your lips, they feel...Benny?

Mysterion ran off

Kelly: It can't be

The next day

Announcer: This is channel 5 news with Tim Pusslicker

Tom: Good morning. Our top story, Mysterion struck again and attacked another 4th Grader. This time it was Bradley Biggle. Who had an allergic reaction to skimmed milk. Mysterion had already tried to kill Leopold "Butters" Stotch and Stanley Marsh. But his attempts left them hospitalised. Earlier today one of our journalists managed to have a quick interview with the police chief, Harrison Yates

Yates: We are doing everything we can to arrest Mysterion. He is a menace and a murderer and we do not tolerate that

Cop: Um sir. Hat McCulloch killed another baby again

Yates: Oh good for him! We are gonna search everywhere for Mysterion, every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse outhouse and doghouse until he's found!

The TV turned off

The Coon: This is his fault. First Chaos, Toolshed, now Mint-Berry Crunch. Timmy I hate to say this, but I think you're next

Doctor Timothy: Why?

The Coon: Because you're a telepath and you could damage his mind

Doctor Timothy: For once The Coon said something smart

Tupperware: I forgot to ask, where's Call Girl and Coon Girl?

Doctor Timothy: Call Girl is still upset about Toolshed and Coon Girl is comforting her

Human Kite: She's really upset about it

Mosquito: I know

O'Malley: Fools, this is amazing. Mysterion is turning to the dark side

(A/N: O'Malley is Clyde's evil side)

Mosquito: Shut up O'Malley

Captain Diabetes: How are we gonna stop Mysterion?

Wonder Tweek: AAAAAHHHHHH! What if I'm next?

The Coon: I think we'll have to turn to our enemies

Fast Pass: What enemy will we-we-we-we turn too?

The Coon: I know a guy

Tupperware: You sure it's a guy, you sure it's not a girl

The Coon: No it's definitely a guy

Meanwhile

Stevens residence

Bebe was on her phone

Bebe: Wendy, the doctors said that Stan was gonna be fine, please stop worrying...what am I gonna do with you?...Ok Wendy please cheer up...Alright call you later

Bebe hung up

A shadow suddenly appeared

Bebe screamed

Bebe: Oh it's you

The shadow belonged to Mysterion

Mysterion: I need your help Bebe

Bebe: Why should I help you? After everything you caused

Mysterion: I didn't do any of those things. If I did do those things, I would've only done it to Cartman

Bebe: Well you do have a point. But why me?

Mysterion: Because you designed my costume, that's a fact a lot of people don't know about me. So I thought nobody will find me here. Until I prove my innocence, could I stay here for a bit?

Bebe: Alright you can stay here for a while until your innocence is proven

Mysterion: Thank you

Bebe: So Kelly

Mysterion: What about her?

Bebe: Shes back in town

Mysterion: Yeah so?

Bebe: Well, What are you gonna do about her? You're in a relationship with that Tammy Warner and Kelly's back. Is it causing any conflict?

Mysterion: What me and Kelly has was special along time ago. But I've moved on from her and I'm perfectly happy with her

Bebe: You sure? You don't seem quite sure

Mysterion: What makes you say that?!

Bebe: I was only asking

Mysterion: How I feel about Kelly's presence is none of your business you understand? Now if you excuse me I'm gonna have a shower

Mysterion went to have a shower

Whilst having a shower, Kenny started to have another flashback

Stevens residence

Kenny entered the house and went up to Bebe's room

Kenny: Hey Bebe. Is my costume done yet?

Bebe was on her bed looking down

Kenny: Bebe?

Bebe: Kelly told me to give this to you

Bebe gave Kenny a note

Kenny started to read it

Kenny: "Kenny, I don't think moving to my town is gonna work. And I can't handle long distance any longer. It's not your fault nor mine. We can't fix this. I'm sorry, but our relationship is over. Kelly"

Kenny had tears in his eyes and so did Bebe

Bebe: I'm so sorry

Kenny and Bebe hugged each other

Later that night

Bebe: It's finished. Try it on

Kenny put the Mysterion costume on

Kenny starred at the mask for a second than he put it on

He turned around to look at Bebe and Bebe stood shock

Bebe wasn't shocked at what Kenny looked like, she was shocked at what he became

Bebe: My God! The underwear does go good with the costume

Well mainly at what he became

Flashback ends

The Coon went to an abandoned carnival to get help

The Coon explored all the empty stalls

The Coon: Jesus! What lazy assholes decided to leave all these out?

Voice: The stupid kind

The Coon looked around to see who was talking to him

It was Scott Tenorman wearing clown makeup similar to Mark Hamill's joker

The Coon: Scott Tenorman! Why the fuck are you dressed like Pennywise?

Scott: I'm not Pennywise. I'm The Joker

The Coon: Whatever! Aren't they the same?

Scott: NO!

The Coon: Well they kill-You know what? Discussing which evil clown is which isn't gonna help. I need your help

Scott: What can I do for my little brother?

The Coon: I need your help. It's Mysterion, he's gone nuts

Scott: What do you want me to do about it?

The Coon: Because I'm your brother

Scott: Why should I help you? After everything you did, I don't care if you're my little brother. I will not help

The Coon: Pleas Scott. You still wanna humiliate me don't you? What if Mysterion kills me?

Scott: Well you have a good point. But I have a secret

The Coon: What is it?

Suddenly a dark figure knocked out The Coon

Scott: Your angel of death is here

Dark Figure: Dude! That was my line

Scott: Don't complain, I came up with it

Dark Figure: Good point

Stevens residence

Kenny: I'm glad you think I'm innocent

Bebe: Well you said you wanted to fight for the greater good

Kenny: Yeah

Bebe: Oh by the way. There's a guest coming

Kenny: Who is it?

There was a knock on the door

Bebe: Go on answer it

Kenny answered the door

And Tammy stood there

Tammy: Ken!

Tammy hugged Kenny and Kenny hugged back

Tammy: I've been looking everywhere for you

Tammy punched Kenny

Kenny: What the fuck was that for?

Tammy: That was for scaring me! You've been missing for a day! I've tried calling you and than I realised that you didn't have a cell phone. I've visited your parents and they said they didn't know where you are, well maybe it was because they were high. I've asked your friends and they said "Fuck him". Why the fuck are you staying at Bebe's house?

Kenny: Tammy. There's something I need to tell you

Bebe: Kenny don't

Tammy: Why isn't he allowed to tell me? Is he cheating on me with you?

Bebe: No! He's too poor for me

Kenny: Hey!

Bebe: What? It's true!

Kenny: Anyway, I need to tell you something

Kenny and Tammy went to Bebe's room

Kenny: During our relationship we promised we would tell each other's secrets. Well, there's one thing I kept a secret from you. I am Mysterion

Kenny that quickly put on the costume

Tammy: So you're a criminal?

Mysterion: Tammy. I am not a criminal, I was framed by somebody who probably looks like me. I stand for the greater good. I started to protect the town when things started to get worse and also when my sister almost died. I have noticed that this town gets shittier and shittier everyday and I continue fighting as Mysterion

Tammy: So Kelly kissed you the other day?

Mysterion: What?

Tammy: Don't lie to me Ken! I saw it with my own eyes!

Mysterion: Tammy I can explain

Tammy: Did you like the way she kissed you?

Mysterion: Tammy-

Tammy: Did you enjoy it Ken? Did you?!

Mysterion sighed

Mysterion: It did feel nice. Tammy-

Tammy ran out of the house crying

Bebe: Wow!

Mysterion: I've fucked up

Bebe: Tell me about it

Mysterion stood still as he has another flashback

Kenny was sulking by a tree

Whilst the others were playing football

Craig: What's wrong with him?

Kyle: His girlfriend broke up with him

Cartman: Really?

Cartman starts nudging Stan

Cartman: 5 bucks says she starts dating Token

Stan: But she's gone back home. So there's no way she's dating Token

Token walked past on his phone

Token: Yeah...Well I'm glad this long distance relationship is working with us...I'll call you later Kelly

Cartman: Stan, you owe me 5 bucks

Stan: It could be another Kelly

Token: Yeah...I'll say hi to Kenny for you

Cartman: Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

Token approached Kenny

Kenny than screamed at Token

Stan: What did he say?

Token: Kenny called me the n-word

Craig: Ouch

Stan: Butters, use your beautiful sadness speech

Butters: Huh?

Stan: That speech you gave to me when Wendy broke up with me

Butters: Ok

Butters approaches Kenny

Butters: Hey Kenny-

Kenny punches Butters in the balls

The goths show up

Michael: Hey the speech didn't work on him

Henrietta: It's only a matter of time before he becomes goth

Stan: Come on. Let's play football somewhere else. Seeing Kenny being depressed is making me depressed

Kyle: Good idea. Come on Butters

Butters got up still holding his balls

Butters: Coming fellas

Butters follows the others

Kenny continued sulking, until a girl approached him

Girl: Hey

Kenny: Hey

Girl: Is this where most people go to sulk about their breakups?

Kenny: What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

Girl: Oh! Definitely a breakup

Kenny: How can you tell?

Girl: I just can

Kenny: Oh

Girl: I've been through a breakup too. He broke up with me because he couldn't handle a long distance relationship anymore

Kenny: Same here

Girl: I just wish he just allowed it continue

The girl started crying

Kenny started patting her on the back

Kenny: Hey. Hey. Don't cry. I don't enjoy seeing women cry. Well except for Kim Kardashian when she isn't famous anymore

The girl than gave a small chuckle

The Girl: You're actually kind of funny. My name's Tammy. Tammy Warner

Kenny: Tammy, lovely name for a 5th Grader

Tammy: How can you tell?

Kenny: I've seen you around the school sometimes, coming out of Mr Rotch's class

Tammy: Oh

Kenny: My name is Kenny by the way

Tammy: Nice name. Anyway, would you like to hang out with me sometime?

Kenny: I mean, we've been through similar experiences together. And you seem like a nice girl. Of course

Tammy holds Kenny's hand

Tammy: Thank you Ken

Flashback ends

Mysterion just stood there

Bebe: Kenny. Kenny. You've been standing there for 3 hours

Mysterion: I'm sorry. I was having a flashback

Tammy's house

Tammy was crying at a picture of Kenny

Tammy: Why did he betray me? Why?

Suddenly there was a knock at the door

Tammy answered it

Call Girl: Where is Kenny?

Tammy: Fuck off!

Call Girl: Whoah! Easy girl

Tammy: You want to kiss him in his Mysterion outfit don't you?

Call Girl: No! I have a boyfriend he (Sniff) put in the hospital

Call Girl started crying

Tammy: Well, you wanna know where Mysterion is. He's staying at the Stevens'

Call Girl: Bebe. Oh of course, she's always fantasised sleeping with Mysterion

Tammy: Make him pay

Call Girl: I will

Tammy closed the door and continued crying

Stevens residence

Mysterion was brooding

Bebe: You've been brooding for 5 hours

Mysterion: Thank you I've noticed

Bebe: You should eat you know?

Mysterion: I know

Bebe: It's about Tammy isn't it?

Mysterion: Yeah

Bebe: Well I hope you two don't break up, you two deserve each other

Mysterion: Thanks Bebe

Suddenly bright flashes of light appeared

Yates: Mysterion! We have you surrounded

They look outside to see the cops surrounding the Stevens and Yates had a megaphone

Yates: Well technically we have the front yard surrounded

Mysterion: I need to get out of here!

Bebe: What if they do have the backyard surrounded and they're just trying to lead you into a trap?

Mysterion: That's why I'm escaping through the basement

Yates: We're gonna give you 30 seconds to exit the house or we'll open fire

Mysterion: Bebe get out of here

Bebe: How did they find us?

Mysterion: I don't know!

Bebe: Well if my house gets destroyed. You're dead

Mysterion: I wish

Bebe ran out of her room

Yates: You now have 25 seconds

Mitch: Wasn't it 30 seconds 24 seconds ago?

Yates: Do not question my authority?! You now have 3-2-1 seconds! Fire

The police start firing at the house

Mysterion tried to avoid the ricochet of bullets

But a bullet hits him in his back

Mysterion: Ahhh! I wish it was the head

Mysterion escaped through the basement still bleeding

Meanwhile

Yates: Keep firing

Suddenly a cop showed up with a bazooka and fired it, destroying the Stevens' house

Yates: What's your name, Oh wait I know! Officer Asshole! What the fuck are you doing with a bazooka?

Cop: Sorry sir. Some crazy kid gave it to me

Yates: Who?

Meanwhile

Mysterion was running as fast as he could still bleeding from his back

He collapsed until he was picked up by a mysterious shadow

Kenny later woke up on somebody's bed wearing a band aid on his back

Kenny: Where am I?

A door opened and Tammy entered

Tammy: Ken!

Tammy ran up to Kenny and hugged him

Kenny: Ow! My fucking back

Tammy: Sorry

Kenny: Did you save my life?

Tammy: Well I kind of did

Kelly entered

Kelly: That was the signal to come in right?

Tammy: Yeah

Kenny: Kelly?

Kelly: Yeah. I saw you unconscious and bleeding. And took you the nearest house. Which turned out to be hers

Tammy: Yeah. Removing the bullet wasn't easy. I just poured the vodka on the wound and used some tweezers to remove it. And we snitched the wound up and gave you a band aid

Kenny: How the fuck did I sleep through that?

Tammy: I was scared you were gonna die

Tammy continued hugging Kenny

Kelly: You need to rest. The cops are still looking for you and so are your friends

Kenny: Tammy, you don't think I did it did you?

Tammy: I don't know Ken. I mean I still love you

Kenny: I love you too

Kelly: It's nice you two sorted things out. So Benny, you over me?

Kenny: I think so

Kelly: Oh good. You two do deserve each other

Kenny: Thanks

Kelly left the house

Kenny: Hey Tammy, did you know what either you or Kelly did to my Mysterion costume?

Tammy: I think it's over there

Tammy grabbed a cape

Tammy: We did clean it

Kenny: Wait a minute. That's not mine

Tammy: What?

Kenny: It's too dark. It must belong to you

Tammy: That isn't mine

Kenny: Wait a minute

Kenny got out of a bed

Tammy: Take it easy Ken

Kenny: I think I know who's taking out my friends

Kenny stood still thinking and came to a realisation

Kenny: No fucking way!

Minutes later

Kenny was in his Mysterion costume

Tammy: Ken I forbid you to leave

Mysterion: I have to stop Kelly. She's the one hurting my friends

Tammy: This seems like a hard accusation. You sure it's not my blanket

Mysterion: It doesn't even feel like a blanket, feels like a cape

Tammy: Ken wait. What if I don't see you again?

Mysterion: Trust me you will

Mysterion suddenly used his grappling hook to hang upside-down from the ceiling

Tammy: What are you doing Ken?

Mysterion: Something I've always wanted to do with you if you ever found out my secret identity

Tammy: What?

Mysterion: Does this situation seem familiar?

Tammy stood to think for a good couple of seconds when she realised what Kenny wanted

Tammy: Oh. I think I know

Tammy walked up to Mysterion, held his head gently and kissed him on the lips

They kissed each other for about 30 seconds, before stopping

Mysterion detached himself from the ceiling

Mysterion: I'll catch ya later babe

Mysterion ran off to find Kelly

Abandoned carnival

Kelly entered the carnival alone

She looked around for a bit

Until she heard sinister laughter

Scott Tenorman came out of the shadows still wearing makeup similar to Mark Hamill's Joker

Scott: What is it?

Kelly: Anyone else you want me to beat the living shit out of Lenny's friends?

Scott: No. My little brother is all I need

The Coon was tied to a chair on the edge of a pool of sharks

The Coon: You bitch! You're working with this asshole

Scott: I'm gonna feed you to sharks Eric. I'm gonna tie you to this chain and it'll slowly descend you into the pool

The Coon: I have two questions. 1. Why do you wanna kill me? I thought your whole goal was to humiliate me and 2. Why do you wanna slowly descend me into a pool of sharks instead of killing me?

Scott: To answer question 1, ever since you showed me that packet of chilli. It gave me a panic attack and that panic attack drove me insane

The Coon: So that's why you're dressed like Twisty The Clown from American Horror Story

Scott: I am The Joker! So ever since you did that, it has been my dream to kill you. And to answer question 2, I just wanna hear you screaming before you die

The Coon: No! I haven't achieved my goals. I haven't gained a million dollars and I haven't started a billion dollar franchise. I wanna do so much before I die

Suddenly somebody threw fire crackers

And somebody knocked over Scott

It was Mysterion

Kelly tried to run away

Mysterion: Don't you dare run away

Kelly: Alright, I assume you wanna know why I did this

Mysterion: Well you've read my mind

Kelly: Well, my parents were killed by a clown dressed like Ronald McDonald and Scott said he'd reveal the clowns identity if I helped him out with a few tasks. And he gave me this cloak to complete his acts. He wanted Cartman to come to him for help. So he asked me to take out Professor Chaos and I did. Unintentionally framing you. But when Stan was getting suspicious, Scott told me to take him out. Scott also told me of The Freedom Pals most powerful member, Mint-Berry Crunch. So I asked him out on a date so I could learn his weakness. Which is what I did and took him out. After The Coon came to Scott, I decided to tell you. But I didn't realise the police were on your ass until they start destroying Bebe's house and I saw you bleeding pretty bad. So I decided to take you to Tammy's house and-

Mysterion: I think I know the last part

The Coon: Hey assholes! Help!

Scott was dragging The Coon away

Mysterion: I'm coming Coon

Kelly: Wait. I've told the police that Scott framed you

Mysterion: Why didn't you turn yourself in?

Kelly: Because I'm young and I don't wanna go to prison

Mysterion ran off to chase Scott

A few minutes later, Mysterion found Scott on top of a Ferris wheel along with The Coon and grappled up to arrest him

Scott was holding The Coon over the edge

The Coon: Don't say "Let him go" don't say "Let him go" don't say-

Mysterion: Let him go

The Coon: Fuck you Mysterion!

Scott: Very shit choice of words

Scott let go of The Coon, Mysterion was about to rescue him until he got shot by Scott

Mysterion: Fuck!

Scott: Yes! I have had my revenge! My little brothers dead for good!

Mysterion: There's one thing you didn't realise Scott

Scott: What?

Mysterion: I didn't hear a thud

Scott: Huh?

Scott looked over the ferris wheel to see nothing on the ground

Scott: What the?

Mysterion than kicked Scott

Scott was falling until a cable grabbed him

Mysterion used the cable to tie him onto the ferris wheel

Mysterion: You're going to jail for a long time Scott

Scott: I suppose so. But there's one thing I didn't tell you nor Kelly

Mysterion: What?

Scott: I killed Kelly's parents

Mysterion: For what reason?

Scott: I was high on LSD and I did it for shits and giggles. Well now I'm going to prison, but I'll be out again and I will have my revenge on Eric again and-

Suddenly the cable snapped and Scott Tenorman fell to his death

Mysterion looked over to see Kelly holding a throwing star

Mysterion: How the fuck did she hear that?

Kelly than gave Mysterion a nod and disappeared whilst Mysterion succumbed to his wounds and died

The next day

Kenny was walking through the school hallway after being resurrected the 100th time

Kenny than noticed that Stan was back

Stan: Hey Kenny

Kenny: Oh hi Stan. You still believe I did it

Stan: No. Cartman told me that it was your ex girlfriend and he told me you got shot, how did those wounds heal so fast?

Kenny sighed

Kenny: So does Wendy know you back?

Stan: I don't know, I told Kyle to tell her. I guess he for-

Suddenly Wendy grabbed Stan and hugged him

Wendy had tears in her eyes

Wendy: Thank god you're ok

Stan: It's ok. I'm here now

Stan and Wendy kissed each other

Kenny: Well I'm glad things are back to normal

Butters walked past using crutches

Kenny: Hey Butters

Butters screamed and tried to move as fast as he could


End file.
